Joanne Lawrence
It is all perspective. There is nothing good or bad, thinking makes it so…
This past 18 months has challenged these ideas. No one could have predicted the circumstances we have found ourselves in. We have had to adapt, pay attention, and try and keep going. Some people have seen this past year as challenging; a dark and lonely time and others have enjoyed being told not to do anything and to stay in. Seeing this as a time to slow down and appreciate the little things.
Firstly, I will be clear in saying, this is not a few words to tell you to look on the bright side. I am very aware of toxic positivity, which can lead to us feeling misunderstood, not listened to and that our pain is not important. What I am saying is our perspective of an event, issue or thought, can impact how we feel about it and the way we feel about ourselves and our circumstances. I believe it is important to acknowledge when things are difficult, whether this is due to change, situations, relationships or difficult events. That is life, stuff happens. You may have heard quotes like, ‘learn to ride the wave’, I heard another perspective on this… ‘don’t ride the wave, just be aware of it.’ By being aware of our feelings and thoughts we can observe them, maybe step back and gain another perspective on them. Maybe look down on them or up at them and see them from a different angle. Giving ourselves a wider perspective. Reminding me of probably one of my favourite quotes….’When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change’. I have come back to this so many times this past year. It does not mean that everything will become perfect, and we will never have ‘issues.’ Again… sorry to tell you but we all have issues! And we always will at different points in life. Again, this is life.
However, if we can widen our perspective. We can start to handle things better, handle them differently. This includes communication in our relationships. How many times have you reflected back on a conversation with someone you care about and thought… ‘I wish I hadn’t said that’ and maybe it felt too hard to take it back or maybe you felt justified but would rather have put it in a better way. If we widen our perspective, look at that person we love, their point of view and maybe how we could handle the situation to help grow our relationships. This means bringing in healthy boundaries and communicating from a place of feeling, empathy, and a wider perspective. Imagine how relationships could transform for the better.
I think a wider perspective comes from, pausing… taking a breath… looking at the wider picture and then responding. Moving away from reaction. Reaction can come from our previous experiences and feelings, so we are not responding openly to what is going on but reacting to our very narrow and quick thoughts and feelings, that relate back to our past. So, I invite you to pause, take a breath and look at the wider picture. Use this to help your emotional and mental wellbeing, your relationships and build your resilience to tricky situations.
When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change…
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